u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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