well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
