Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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