I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
pop tarts are not kleenex
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
