so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
