I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
