I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize