i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
