Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
