um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
