I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
