I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize