This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
