Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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