I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
