fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I need a burrito and a hug.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
