the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Randomize
