in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
