you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
My pussy is not your playground.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Randomize
