she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
