Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
