I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
You smell like a Billy Joel song
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
