Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
