You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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