I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
