I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
