Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
