dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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