That's when you crack a 10am beer
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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