Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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