It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
