Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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