I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
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