R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
