At least make sure they are 18
Why
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
