plz talk dirty to me
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
