i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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