WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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