Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
