She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
no you cant smoke seaweed
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
