she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
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