i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
