the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
just come out here and I will go home with you...
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
