I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
