her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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