My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
