i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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