We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
