i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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