walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
