how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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