I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
