True but thats because hes a fetus.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
