i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
me + whiskey = a bad person
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
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