You made me cry and you don't even care
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Dignity is for republicans.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
