This is not my ceiling
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
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