But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
