The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
