so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
