i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
