Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
