Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
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