I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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