I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize