dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Randomize
