good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
