So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Randomize
