Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
