The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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