Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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