he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Randomize
