They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
